Best of 2018

by ozeezo

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1.
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Cab Callo 01:06
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home simpso 01:18
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I Like Ike 03:05
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6.
dirt 00:57

about

Even after countless Grammy awards, platinum record deals, and a Nobel Peace Prize unorthodoxly awarded to musicians, 2018 was still, however, a low point in the trio's miraculous musical career.

It is December 31st and disaster has struck. After hundreds of hours of mixing and mastering, ozeezo was to finally cement their revolutionary album. Heralded even before it's release as, "The 8 track vision that serves to fundamentally disarm all future works". An album so studiously guarded, every known producer to have even glimpsed at the editing process was to sign an NDA, and immediately place themselves under house arrest until the album's release. For some this meant 8 months of living inside with little to no contact with the outside world. But these measures were justified if only by the extreme lengths musico-terrorists went to steal early releases of ozeezo's newest work.

A brief history of cases:

March 13, 2018. Two men driving an ice-cream truck attempt to crash into ozeezo's producing headquarters in NYC, only to be thwarted by hundreds of school children attempting to purchase ice-cream.

March 27th, 2018. A lone militant enters through the front door of the building carrying a lit molotov cocktail, stopped after 20 feet by a particularly heroic janitor using a mop and wash bucket as his only weapons.

June 3rd, 2018. ozeezo having moved more secure headquarters in West Virginia, cautiously answers the door only to find a pair of girl scouts. Whilst refusing to buy cookies, the three musicians are quickly sprayed by a highly toxic and lethal dose of Xenon-37, cleverly concealed within a sample box of Thin Mints. Not only would their newest body of work be compromised, their very lives may have ended if it wasn't for a well placed panic button by the front door. A medical team was able to arrive within minutes and flush all toxins before permanent brain damage set in. The girl scouts were apprehend by local law enforcement within hours, but before they could be questioned the two culprits had swallowed cyanide capsules, most likely concealed as false badges on their sashes. The autopsy of the girl scouts later revealed them to be 50 year old men, most likely of Russian descent. Whom after having undergone extensive plastic surgery were apparently sent to apprehend ozeezo's latest work.

August 18th, 2018. After a lengthy recovery in hospital, the artist's attempt to continue their work.

November 12th, 2018. The facility having now been updated to maximum security measures, threat of attack had been minimized while paranoia of attack had risen dramatically.

December 2nd, 2018 Unfortunately the paranoia was not unfounded. In the middle of the night the three artists were woken up to the sound of 47 megaphones blasting "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" on repeat. In an attempt to blackmail the musicians from within their own home, the music would be disengaged in exchange for their newest album. A shootout between the group, now known to be a radicalized splinter of the U.S.P.P. (United States Pacifist Party), and local law enforcement lasted nearly seven hours until all U.S.P.P. members were dead. The megaphone device, was cleverly created to play long after their members demise, and took a full week to dismantle. The full psychological damage however is considered irreparable to the musicians, whom now cite the event as the main reason all their melodies sound strikingly similar to, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame",

December 12th, 2018. ozeezo moves to an apartment in LA to finish their work. Leaving in the middle of the night, flying by private jet, and allowing doubles to continue "work" at the West Virginia location, the artist's had hoped to avoid all possible threats from their new and under the radar location.

But the day is December 31st, and disaster strikes. After hundreds of hours of mixing and mastering, an earthquake hitherto unimaginable strikes LA. The destruction is wide spread, power is out for months, roads blocked with debris make travel impossible. Lead seeps into the water supply, and rare flash tornado's touch down at random sending old debris flying dangerously.

Miraculously, ozeezo's apartment is completely untouched by all of these disasters, making it the only known location in LA to have been completely spared from what has been commonly referred to as the, "The Great Catastrophic Death Scenario of 2018".

This would have been ozeezo's luckiest break yet, if it hadn't been for a single shrapnel of debris. The odds were astronomical, but the tiniest sliver of concrete flew threw an open window, and lodged itself deep within the hard drive of ozeezo's prized possession, their latest album. Their files impossibly corrupted, any hope of re-working their aforementioned masterpiece is considered unattainable.

Distraught, depressed, and exhausted, the musicians gave up their latest project, announcing to the world on January 1st, 2019, that the world would instead have to make themselves content with a compilation album of ozeezo's previous work.

This is that album.

credits

released January 14, 2019

Marc the heroic janitor, R.I.P. (died March 27th at the age of 34 due to serious burns)

lillian and James McCaabe (medical married duo who successfully removed all Xenon-37)

Janice Shtein (psychotherapist who continues to work with the artists to this day to relieve them of their musical PTSD)

Bill, Bob, and Barnabus (the three doubles who risked their lives at the West Virginia location)

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ozeezo Florham Park, New Jersey

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